Year in review - Personal and National

This has been quite a year. The bombshell was finding out about the affair that my husband was having. That news really shook up my universe and the readers of the blog got to read about it as well. I got so many comforting messages from all over the cyber space. It was than that i realized the true value of this blog. Virtual support that felt so real and whose impact on my real life was so strong. Thanks to everyone on that!

This year, I also started this new job which has been quite a pleasant change in my life. Also, I have been writing a bit of fiction as well. But as my nature goes, i tend to shift to more erotic and sensual topics. I don't know if this would be the place to share those stories. I will think more about that. Just thinking if my social circle ever finds out about this blog - they would be scandalized to say the least!

At the end of the last year i wrote that 2008 has been a year of stability. I had found a part time job at a NGO. I had also met R and there was fun and lust along with some danger. This year, things got really tricky but the moment the summer ended, things started getting better. I have been reading and taking evening walks, which has given me some discipline and sense of accomplishment in my life. My main issue has been to keep my restive nature in check - i always need one thing or the other to keep my mind going otherwise i start to feel bored and depressed.

As a nation, we had one of the worst years ever. More than 500 bombs rocked the state! Just imagine that happening in a western nation. The people have bled and have been torn to pieces by the menace of the suicide bombings. No place has been safe. Even the GHQ was attacked. Swat was lost and than retaken in a successful military operation with minimum of civilian casualties. But the resilience of the people through all this has been amazing. Pakistan may have its faults and flaws but the will and resilience of the people is not one of them.

Here is a prediction for 2010: Things will get worse before they get better and the longer the Americans stay in this region the more bloodshed Pakistan will experience. But a democratic Pakistan will emerge through this much stronger and confident of itself.

Karachi takes a hit

The suicide blast has hit Karachi. The latest latest blast to hit the city only shows the precarious situation. The lunatics of Al-Qaeeda are targeting the Shites to bring about a clash between the sects and ensue chaos. How long will this blood bath continue while the politicians and the establishment fight over petty issues? There should be accountability of the Army's current operation in South Wazirstan. Clearly, the terrorists are running away from there and moving on to other agencies which were not part of the operation. ANP has already signalled its displeasure with the modus operandi of the current operation.

I wonder how much worse will it get before it gets any better. I actually see things getting bad in 2010. The bottom line is this: Unless and until the establishment firmly decides to change its policy in Afghanistan and India and stop supporting the Jiahdi organizations , this will continue and get even worse because when you play with fire eventually you will get burnt!

The Angry Woman

Fozia Wahab is a character and i mean that in a positive way. She does come out as rough around the edges at times but women in politics in a Pakistani society need to have such firebrand qualities. At times, she has sounded very angry and bellicose on verious talkshows - the word "indiginifed" was used for her by PPP opponents. But i have met her on a couple of occassions and she is a woman with a pretty good intellect. I am only writing this becuase i met her a few weeks back at the dinner hosted by Salman Taseer, the flamboyant governor of Lahore. She is the kind of women we need to stop the fundo leaning PML(N) guys.

Although, the recent incident of Fozia Wahab' son sending life threating messages to the Journalist Ansar Abbasi is somethign which she would like to forget. Everyone knows that Ansar Abbasi is a 'lifafa' journalist. He is very much on the establishment payroll but having said that we should defend his right to free speech. Wish Fozia all the best in the future.

Zardari Under Fire

Judging from the media coverage of the NRO one would think that Zardari is the sole beneficiary of the evil deal. Nothing could be further from the truth but the media clearly loves to hate the man. Zardari didn't help himself either by making one bad decision after another.

When he got the Presidency, he clearly had the good will of the people, opposition and the media at large behind him but he has consistently lost that ground due to some very dubious decisions. His PR machine is pathetic to say the least but the man who is famous for buying off his enemies and friends alike is clearly struggling here. Today he is at loggerheads with Nawaz Sharrif, MQM and the Army. This decline has been brought about by arrogance, petty ego and sheer stupidity.

He made a mess of the judges restoration issue, his flip flops on promises to NS and N league are by now world famous. In all fairness, he very much deserves what is coming his way but the causality will not be Zardari who will quietly shoot off to foreign shores to live the life of comfort and luxury. The ultimate causality will be the system for which his wife paid the price with her life. The media has to hold back the horses and not gleefully look to Zardari's demise. This is a difficult transition that we are making after 9 years of military rule. It will not be easy. Zardari certainly has not made things easier but the times call for calmer heads.It will take the Pakistani nation time to calm down and adapt this new democratic system with all its inherent flaws because there is not other choice.

Update

I know i have been neglecting this blog so here is an update as we come closer to saying goodbye to 2009. I have started a nice job, which requires a lot of work. I know that i don't have to work (God knows howmany times i was reminded of this by hubby dear) but playing housewife was really boring me to death. And in these times when the country is going through so much, i wanted to get out and check out the real world through the eyes of an ordinary citizen and not through dinner parties thrown by political and social elites.

The job has been pretty good. It has given me a purpose and an order to my life. Husband is ok with it. Predictably, the in-laws were not overjoyed to learn of their daughter in-law's decision to step outside of the house but clearly times have changed even for a 'self-respected feudal family.'

Also, just to confess to people here. I have been pretty sober and i have not had any physical contact with R. He has tried contacting me during the last weeks but i keep postponing it. Maybe its guilt or maybe its fear but for now i remain committed to being 'shareef' - whatever that may mean. God knows how needy i get at times but i know that i have to be careful.

So, this was a basic run down on my life. Will try to be more regular in my posts from now on but as you know i have not been the one to keep my promises.