Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Isn't it so ironic that the people that we love so much, such as our parents end up hurting us the most. Sometimes, I have no idea as to the kind of things my mother says or is capable of saying when she is in a bitter and angry mood. It is horrific and my mind just boggles and when she says these things to me. I just freak out with extreme anger and frustration. I just lose my cool, as they say. I feel guilty after my outburst but than I end up blaming her for the many wrongs in my life. Mother is such a disaster as a person - a failed marriage and a list of other disastrous relationships has left her even more angry. Maybe, I should be more careful in my interactions with her. I do lose my patience with her unnecessarily but than she can be very frustrating.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Few days back Jamat e Islami ameer Munawwar Hassan of JI declared Baitullah Mehsud a ‘Shaeed’ on a live TV show.The worst enemy of Pakistan, an infidel of humanity who killed hundreds of innocent Pakistanis, waged a war against the state of Pakistan and is most probably responsible for the assassination of its former Prime minister is a Shaheed for JI. The few liberal elements in the media such as yourself need to pick this up in the media and take on the hate preachers - JI. If this is not an act of treason than i don't know what is.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The mass migration of 1.5 million (and counting) people from Swat, Dir and Bajaur in Pakistan due to the ongoing war between the 'militants' and Pakistan army marks a humanitarian crisis. You can donate a dollar to a few to give hope to those who suffer at the doorstep of an ideological war on terror that has consumed many a households and continues to haunt many of us. The war might not be at your doorstep but those suffering are humans just like you and me and deserve better than sitting out under the sun with little water and food, let alone medical aid or any semblence of accomodation.
You can donate through the following link.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
One thing that this summit hopefully achieved is to bring Pakistan and Afghanistan together. Both these countries have for many months now blamed each other for the terrorism and insurgent problems that they both share. This summit comes as a critical juncture for Pakistan. I worry that Pakistan is close to falling apart. Swathes of my beloved country have fallen into the hands of the Talebaan. I worry that the dozens of nuclear weapons will fall into the wrong hands. We are running out of time and we need to deploy all available human and financial resources in fighting this cancer. Military and civilian aid from USA will come in most handy at this time and we should milk this cow for all that it is worth.
My concern remains the competence and far sightedness of our politicians and whether our "jiyaalaas" in the Army have the stomach for a long, protracted and vicious fight with the Talebaan. Based on past experiences, this is a potent recipe for failure and disaster. Zardari is a playboy whose corruption has earned him the nickname os Mr. 10 percent. The last time we had a playboy in power i.e. Yahya Khan, we lost half the country. His principal rival, Nawaz Sharif is more religious right wing than secular in his outlook and is stupid to boot. He could easily (as he has done in the past) miscalculate and believe that he could take his chances by sharing power with the Talebaan. He may therefore offer less than 100 % support to the current fight to eradicate them. And then finally, we have the army, infiltrated to the core (a Zia legacy) with Islamic fundamentalists. I would not be surprised if one of the corps commanders were to launch a coup and then invite the Talebaan in. We have a hurricane flowing in and our house might indeed be a pack of cards.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
But for the ultimate success of this operation, the support of the major political parties is needed. I remember writing hopeful stuff about Nawaz Sharrif earlier on during the movement for the restoration of the judiciary. But i have been proven wrong. He remains a dour leader with right wing leanings. Journalists often remark that prior to giving out any kind of interview, Mian sahib puts in the condition that no questions be asked about the Taliban. Why is his party not supporting the army operating whole heartedly? Maybe because he is a closet Fundo - an apologist for the Taliban. Or maybe he still has the beef with the Army going back to the October coup of 1999? For him and his like this operation is out of necessity. They do not recognize people like Sufi Muhammad as extremists. At the most these are just misguided souls.
The liberal minority of Pakistan will have to get themselves organized. The only party which has been the most vocal about the rise of the Taliban has been MQM. MQM needs to shed its ethnic baggage and it may find that it has some support in the heart of Punjab.
For now we have to back our men in Khakki who are putting their lives at risk against an enemy not only of this state but also of it's official religion.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Taliban terrorists use religion to justify just about anything and they seem to have been getting away with it. This is an old story in Pakistan where first the clergy and than the establishment used and abused religion to gain political mileage. The Taliban represent the final and extreme product of using such a strategy. Taliban must be crushed and their clean shave sympathizers must be silenced with an effective media campaign.
It is time for the powerful media and the civil society to come out on the streets against such extremism and support the army full heartily. The army and the Frontier Corps need to feel the backing of the nation when they take on these fascists.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Looks like plenty is going on at home. Will write more when i get back. Also, thanks to all of you who have been emailing me. It's pretty flattering to know that i have a pretty good following.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I fail to understand myself at times. My life is littered with the wrong choices. My emotional and sensitive nature only makes things difficult for me. The sensual and licentious part in me evokes much wilder emotions. The latter only adds to the sexual frustration and general dissatisfaction with life. The fire of lust rages in me and makes me want to step into the forbidden - a line which i have crossed by now yet want to indulge in more. Perhaps, giving in to the delicious temptation is my sin. I know that it is very important to be grateful for what one has but at the same time too much of it could kill the ambition whether in bed or otherwise.
Anyways, this entry is dedicated to all of my readers - strangers and friends.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Secondly, there is no need to take a massive operation in Swat and FATA. Simply, because different surveys have spelled out clearly that fanatics do not have the support of the local population. In fact the biggest disappointment for the people of Swat has been the lackluster attitude of the army towards the Taliban. It is time that our well fed army does some good. It is very well within it's capacity to take out these so-called miscreants. The truth is that we do not want to acknowledge these maniacs because they are a reflection of our society and our highly prejudiced mindsets.
Friday, April 10, 2009
I am especially mad at my VP, who is a egoistic bitch. She has nothing better to do in her life than to make sure that everyone else is feeling lousy. i did not want to write about work earlier on but now i feel the urge to express my frustration.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Officials from the head of the interior ministry and the army spokesman to the provincial police chief failed to clear this up. They did not even agree on how many attackers had been killed. While interior ministry official Rehman Malik said that three attackers "blew themselves up", an army official at the scene told newsmen that "four attackers have been killed". This is lackluster and pathetic!
Did the fourth attacker also blow himself up, or was he shot? If this is the case than where is the body? The number of injured varies as well. All of this give credence to the conspiracy theories doing the rounds. One of the more popular theories out there is that this apparent nonchalance is largely due to the continued interest of some sections in its powerful defence establishment to keep the militants afloat. I am myself is starting to believe some of those theories.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Another attack in the heart of Lahore, this time on a Police academy. The aim of the attack was clearly to undermine the security apparatus of the country and thereby weaken the state. This is the second attack in Lahore after the commando style attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team bus in Liberty square. It could very well be the case that personnel involved in the police academy attack were the same people who were involved in the Liberty square operation since all of them had managed to escape after the raid.
I have no doubt that Pakistan is suffering the blow back for its Jihadi operations in India and Kashmir. It is very much the case of Chickens coming home to roost. Having said that, it is no coincidence that attacks of such magnitude and ferocity especially in Punjab have kicked up after the Mumbai attacks. I know from my own sources that Pakistani officials were expecting the Indians to vent out their anger and frustration after the Mumabi attacks. They are clearly using the Afghan base to give Pakistan some taste of its own medicine.
The silver lining is the security operation which managed to kill and capture these battle hardened terrorists. I hope that we get some real intelligence from the captured ones. Another positive thing to see was the attitude of the people - Lahorites are known for this - the way they cheer leaded especially when the army came into the scene was very heart warming. They shouted slogans vowing to kill the attackers and praising the security forces. The reaction was spontaneous and goes to show that it needs to be channeled in the right direction to identify the nemesis of the Pakistani state - the Islamist terrorists.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Still I am not sure that Nawaz Sharif is all that changed a person. We thought the same way about Zardari as well and let's be frank if it was Nawaz Sharif in power, it very well may have been Zardari running the long march.The last time he was the prime minister with an overwhelming mandate - he did everything he could to become another dictator. In fact, he was planning to introduce the shariah and become the Amir ul Momenin when he was removed by General Musharraf in October 1999.
Still, he has managed to avoid politics of confrontation if judged from the standard of Pakistani politics. Its a good omen that he has decided to support the PPP government until it completes its term. The two party system has to work in order for democracy to deliver, and for this the leaders of the two parties have to become better versions of their past selves.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
We were en route to Gujranwala, ahead of the NS convoy when we got the word that after Kiayni's meeting with Z and Gillaini aka Forest Gump - something might be afoot..
I think its a sign of times a good one too when NS back tracked from the march once he was satisfied of the deal.He did not boast about his victory..I still have my doubts about him and his brother, but he has shown some wisdom and tolerance here..
We saw the final card being played by the desperate elements of pro-Zardari in PPP when they started palyign the Sindh card..MQM was eagerly waiting to jump on this bandwagon of ethnic conflict..I was there and i saw no one shouting against Sindh or Sindhis, but there were plenty of abuses hurled towards Zardari - something which i know for a fact is a daily routine in Larkana...It just goes to show that how much these so called leaders are willing to risk in order to cling on to power..
I just hope that we can move as a nation and mobilize the masses against the threat of Talibanisation the way we did in this lawyer movement..There are dangerous signs that these fascists are spreading their tentacles in the heartland of Punjab. More on that later...
In the end , it was a victory for Pakistan..We have had a lot to fret and worry about...After t he debacle in Swat this is one sweet victory and time is right for the nation of Pakistan to rebound!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
with more flirtations. I am not losing any sleep over my morals and
anyway i think that there is nothing wrong in minor flirtations. Its
not like i am sleeping around with someone. If you can seen a man
appreciating your body from the way he looks at you, than i don't see
why i should not at least make an eye contact or smile at him. I know
its risky but it exciting. Such excitement is pure joy at times - just
imagine what lies in the second step.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Zardari has acted with the typical mindset of a feudal landlord showing no vision of any kind by dismissing the Sharrifs. I have no affections for the PML(N) but Zardari has clearly used and manipulated the Sharrifs in a despicable manner. This is not politics, its stooping to such low levels that its a new one even in Pakistan's political history.
Our party has been approached by the wheelers and dealers of Zardari. Like me most of the other workers and leaders are warning the Chaudhrys about Zardari. I can safely predict today Zardari will not only end up sacking Prime minister Gillani within the next year but that he himself will not be able to complete his 5 year term.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
On the flip side, I am still upset about the recent attitude of my in-laws. They have always seemed 'nice' but since lately there has been a tendency on the part of my father in-law especially to be a little interfering and dominating. Its like he wants to say that he is the boss. I have found it very resentful and maybe frustrating because i have not as yet come up with a way to counter it.
In my own analysis, my problem is that i tend to be very nice with people, maybe because of the insecurity i feel (nice people being nice because of their insecure emotional state?). Because of this goody good behavior i let others dominate me. The way to counter this is not to over react but act mature (define mature, anyone please?). There is a difference between thinking about and planning a course of action and putting it into practice. I am in a fix as to how to best respond to something like this.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My relationship with him is an escape from the reality of my life, but its a very dangerous escape. I have decided for now to work on improving my marriage while keeping the affair at distance, at least for a while.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Conceding and appeasing the Talebaan is in my view very dangerous and short-sighted. Appeasement does not work. Islamabad has tried it before -- with disastrous results. This has only given these hordes time to rearm and come back. This development is a significant threat to Pakistan at many different levels.
To their credit, earlier on, the Pakistani army did step up in its fight against the Talebaan but then it started to stall. What happened recently -- and a lot of our soldiers have been killed by the way in this fight -- is that the military stopped going hand to hand with the Talebaan. They stood back and started shelling the militant outposts from long distance. What this did was cause mayhem against the civilian population -- death, injuries and destruction of property. The civilains in that area have had enough. They now want security and peace by any means. So, they as well as many in Islamabad are now saying that OK if we get Shariah Law, it will at least get us peace.
Reality however is different. We have seen this movie before. This is just a lull before the next storm and sooner or later, if unchecked will topple the establishment in Islamabad and for decades erase the vision of a secular Pakistan that many of us including this author share and pine for.
Friday, February 20, 2009
We have to find our own way through this mess created by Zia and exacerbated by Musharraf. There is no doubt in my mind, that these militants are getting enough support and training not only from our premier nemesis but forces beyond that as well. I do not buy into conspiracy theories but the reality is that Pakistan's Nuclear weapons are a sore sight not only for our eastern neighbour but Israelis as well. It is time that we stand up and show some backbone both to the extremists as well as to the Americans. The priority should be to cleanup the mess at home and one of the ways to do it is to stop killing our own people on the behest of foreign powers.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Ambassador Holbrooke, the Special Representative for Pakistan and Afghanistan arrived day before yesterday in Pakistan. He has been assigned a task no less difficult than what confronted US Policy makers 40 years ago in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.
Disclaimer: I am a proud US National of Pakistani origin and it is with this perspective and motivation that I contribute this blog posting.
For Ambassador Holbrooke to succeed, a prerequisite will be that him and his boss, Secretary Clinton, with the full support of President Obama are able to closely coordinate with a fine and sharp focus the activities of a wide spectrum of agencies within the US Government – particularly with USAID within the State Department as well as with Defense, and the National Security Council -- if they are to achieve President Obama's strategic goals for the region.
Any informed and reasonable commentator and expert on the issues confronting USA in this region will accept and confirm that dealing with the situation in Afghanistan requires an integrated strategy that addresses the needs and aspirations of the Governments and people of both Afghanistan and Pakistan AS A WHOLE. This is something that the Bush Administration paid only lip service to. It would also best serve US interests if it drops its role of the last seven years as a "lone ranger" and engages NATO, Russia and China in developing a durable solution.
Afghanistan and Pakistan are two very distinct countries with different languages and different cultures. As someone who has a South Asian father and an Iranian mother – I am well qualified to comment on that. People tend to focus on the Pakhtoon ethnic overlap in both countries BUT there are more Dari speaking people in Afghanistan (with a different mindset and outlook on life) and more Urdu speaking people in Pakistan. Most of the visitors to this blog site are from Pakistan so you will appreciate when as I quote as an example the different outlook on life that a Mohajir or a Sindhi or a Punjabi has as compared to someone from the Tribal Areas. Both countries have extraordinarily different histories AND YET are intertwined by geography and religion and a common hatred for the colonial / imperial ambitions that the West has through the centuries exhibited for this part of the world.
To broker a fair and lasting solution that meets the needs of all key stakeholders is a VERY DIFFICULT ASSIGNMENT. Nobody can say that the war in Afghanistan has gone well for the Americans. US and allied soldiers occupy a country where they are becoming increasingly unpopular and are entrenched in a fight with a ruthless and elusive enemy – Vietnam all over again with perhaps the same negative outcome for America except that the killing fields this time will not be in Cambodia but in Pakistan. Just as Pol Pot savagely decimated Cambodia's population, so might the Talebaan and their fundo allies decimate and slaughter Pakistan intelligentsia and the secular educated middle class in Pakistan.
I have no love or admiration for the Talebaan. To me they represent a bigger threat to Pakistan and the ideals espoused by my beloved Quaid-e-Azam than anything that USA might have inflicted upon us, by supporting a succession of unpopular and destructive military regimes or India might have tried to inflict upon us through its territorial ambitions. This is a cancer that is growing from within and unless strong medicine is prescribed and radical surgery undertaken, will kill us as a nation. The Talebaan are without any scruples at all and have done some of the most odious things in the name of Islam.
I would submit that today Pakistan's and USA's long term objectives coincide – to eradicate the menace that is the Talebaan. We stand to lose more from these vile creatures and their despicable philosophy than USA. Both USA and Pakistan will need to work closely with an open mind and due respect for each other if we are to avoid the looming tragedy i.e. the implosion and collapse of Pakistan.
The situation is infinitely complex. I however think that a good start has been made by placing Afghanistan and Pakistan under one envoy. What is needed is a regional approach and a comprehensive policy and the Obama administration is far more likely to adopt this approach than the Bush Administration was in the last seven years.
Monday, February 9, 2009
So, i am back to my life and the daily grind of it. I have to figure out a way to kick start the writing again.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
i feel disturbed. Yet as usual i cannot be articulate in my thoughts. I cannot describe them, mainly because i fail to identify them.
I feel my fears grow since my chat with him. He is bounded by his wife - he genuinely fears her for one reason or the other. Why can't he be like my husband, i ask myself?
I feel scared and fearful about us. This is compounded by the fact that i will be leaving for vacation. During that time, i will feel the misery and loneliness, compounded by the fears of him abandoning me. This is scary and tough and i am entering a new territory of mental and psychological trouble.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
How i long for intelligent attraction but suffice for the mundane emotions regarding current political affairs. It is indeed a pity as they cannot appreciate my naked vulnerable cries. How i had planned to change the world but cannot even fix my own life. Its a pity indeed! How i cross the line every time that i am alone and blush a glow of red at the thought of getting caught. How come all that the world see in me in is just my outlook? It is a shame. That they don’t see. That they don't even try. I don't think that they even have the courage to do so.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
We have hit a snag mainly because the physical distance between us has grown. I will call him R for the lack of a better term and he was the director at child's school. First time around i met him in his office in the school. He had such good ruggedly looks and strong frame that it immediately caught my attention. He looked at me with such undress me looks. It was not the first time that a man has looked me like that but i certainly felt the ferocity of his gaze. I felt relaxed in his presence and we ended talking about various things. He knows someone whom i also know through my political affiliations and our conversations just grew from there. By the end of the meeting we decided to stay in touch through phone to review my son's academic performance. It grew from there. I called him a couple of times and we talked.
He hosted a lunch for me later in the week to review my son's class performance. Yeah, i know the whole thing was a charade for us to get together. Despite the freedom i enjoy, i had to be careful about my lunch meeting since this city can be very dangerous especially when it comes to gossip. During the lunch, his eyes were all over me. I mean he was staring right on my breasts and the rest of me. It was very physical and the sexual tension between us was palpitating. I encouraged him tacitly by smiling or adjusting int he seat in a certain manner. I guess you can get the picture by now.
I think this should suffice as the first entry about this.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Husband's attitude with my family has never been good. Somehow they have always bothered him. He is such a traditional person and just loves to be the 'typical' man. At the end of the day, what really frustrates me is that my family does not get the respect that they deserve from him and his family. I don't have a way to express that frustration and rage and that makes things even worse. My in-laws are weird people to say the least. I sometimes think that the whole idea of marriage is as an institution is bankrupt especially in a society such as ours where the woman is supposed to be all compromising.
As frustrated and discontented i am with the whole situation, I also know that somethings never change. i am trying to work on this. I am trying to make myself better off. I am working on being less anxious, more patient about things. I think the change has to come in me if i have to better my life. I believe that you live your life between your ears, more than anything else. How you see the world, and how you filter and respond to the events determine the success and happiness of your life. I need to be more steady in my emotions. I need to avoid being either too happy or too sad. It's a difficult balance to find but i need to find it. This was one of the new year resolutions and i tend to stick to it.
Whenever i write about personal matters, i try not to edit anything. I just post whatever comes in my mind. It is a reflection of my mind, uncensored. Therefore, i apologize if some of the stuff i write sounds incoherent.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
- Need to improve emotional health. I need to be more steady; neither too sad nor too happy. How i go about it is going to be difficult but crucial for a better year. I will write more about this later.
- Improve fitness by walking daily. I am not fat, but i have put on. I need to maintain my good figure for obvious reasons.
- Keep on writing on this blog. It has been a positive contribution in my life.