Its late at night and demons come to haunt me. I feel vulnerable as i miss him. I wish he would call but he is probably busy with the whole 'shadi' thing and not missing me as much as i am missing him. The latter is probably where my fears stem from, especially after i read his chat logs which have hurt me so bad.
i feel disturbed. Yet as usual i cannot be articulate in my thoughts. I cannot describe them, mainly because i fail to identify them.
I feel my fears grow since my chat with him. He is bounded by his wife - he genuinely fears her for one reason or the other. Why can't he be like my husband, i ask myself?
I feel scared and fearful about us. This is compounded by the fact that i will be leaving for vacation. During that time, i will feel the misery and loneliness, compounded by the fears of him abandoning me. This is scary and tough and i am entering a new territory of mental and psychological trouble.