Status Quo

Things have been much better at home. They always are when the status quo is maintained and the position of the other party is not affected. Marriage is very much like a war. Like they say - Marriage is the only instance where you get to sleep with the enemy. I don't feel ranting more about this. This is perhaps the most 'public' I have ever been about my private life. The comments and some of the emails were very strong. I do not resent any sharp messages or comments. I know they were meant in good faith. I would only say that the situation in which i find myself is not an easy one and criticism to many comes very easily. Also, thanks to complete strangers who sent me such supportive messages - you guys are no more strangers to me.

Maybe now i will write about something else. I don't know, let's see...

The Aftermath

The weekend was quiet. I was tired, correction - I am tired! I did not countered him after his disclosure to me. As expected his mood gradually turned from being hostile on Wednesday to being mildly cold today. He knows that he has told me the ultimate and there is nothing that i can do about it. He did try to talk to me and i could see that he was trying to mend things, but i have been reserve with him. Still have some dignity left in me, if not strength. 

Let the days go by and things cool. I don't think that he will be marrying her, whoever she is. I am pretty sure of this now. I guess i don't care if he keeps on sleeping with her. I must switch my priorities. I have always been practical if not wise. Whatever may come but having another woman in this house will be my complete defeat and that i must avoid that at all costs. The emotional upheaval was strong but i must get over it and gather my strength and be strong.

Surviving

The storm when it comes is strong and fierce but nothing in this world is more powerful than the human will power. History is witness to the fact that humans are by default the most adaptable creatures - they have survived where others have fallen by the side. Today, we carry the same genes or survival.

I write this to motivate myself, to give things a perspective and to stay in this battle. I guess after the initial shock wears off i would work on my strategy. He has mellowed down from his threats since his disclosure. He knows that his family will give him hell if he goes for the second marriage. I don't intend to seek divorce if he doesn't marry that woman but for now i am just being very defiant. I don't want to drag myself into court rooms. He can be a very mean person and with his powerful resources can make things very difficult for me. I know that he will not want the divorce as it will hurt his ambitions in society. I am hurt and i want to give it back to him, but i cannot at least not now. I feel helpless and that makes me feel incomplete.

The Last Straw

The last few days have been pretty tough for me. It is one thing to know that your unfaithful husband is having an affair, quite another to find out that once he is confronted about it he gladly acknowledges and even goes to the extent of saying that he is most probably looking to marry that slut. This deep seated fear was in the back of mind. I was expecting it - like you tend to expect the worst in life and especially the worst from people but the emotional fall out has been very severe on me. I am not so weak enough to go into a nervous break down, but still i am jilted and shaken.

I felt like sharing this with everyone on the blog instead of just emailing some friends about it. I want it to be part of my history!