I felt like sharing this with everyone on the blog instead of just emailing some friends about it. I want it to be part of my history!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The Last Straw
The last few days have been pretty tough for me. It is one thing to know that your unfaithful husband is having an affair, quite another to find out that once he is confronted about it he gladly acknowledges and even goes to the extent of saying that he is most probably looking to marry that slut. This deep seated fear was in the back of mind. I was expecting it - like you tend to expect the worst in life and especially the worst from people but the emotional fall out has been very severe on me. I am not so weak enough to go into a nervous break down, but still i am jilted and shaken.
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15 comments:
omg... i m sorry to hear that! hugs!
I have refrained from commenting on some of your other blog entries because I really didn't want to interefere with the personal matters of an unknown person but judging from those entries and my interpretation of them, this one seems quite incoherent with them or somehow hypocritical on your part. Perhaps, your husband was having an affair for a long time which is why you felt ignored and unsatified but instead of looking into the matter you found the easy way of seeking your own pleasure outside or maybe vice versa (I don't know the entire situation of course). It seems to me that you never loved your husband because I have not read that sort of language on your blog. Why call that woman a slut? Once again, immensely hypocritical, to say the least. Also, it's your husband who is supposedly unfaithful so why curse the woman as if she owes more to you than your husband-- when will this misogyny end??
In any case, I understand your feeling of shock and sense of betrayal but stay strong and hopefully things will work out for the better.
definitely not good times, hope you come through it strong. I tend to agree with some of the stuff amna has written in that when we do stuff on the sly the rules don't apply and when someone whom we know breaks the rules we are shocked!!
ur hubby is an unlucky bastard. why wud a man like to lose an intellectual lady like you? I never can figure it out
anyways come out strong out of this mess ASAP
and wat makes you thik this is the last straw?
@Everyone - Thanks for all your support. I know that by revealing my 'secrets' through my confessions i had left myself open to such criticism.
This is just to clear the record and let you all know that this woman is not his first. I have known about my husband's flings for sometime. It was only now that this affair got too serious. It's just that i had stopped taking from him and decided to pay back with my own indulgence. I have no regrets!
well if a man can be disloyal. well so can a woman be as well!!!
Well, I did often wonder what is wrong with your husband. Does he have ED or you guys are mutually unfaithful.
But if you knew about his affairs then why were you dragging on the tie really when there was no marriage? You are a working woman and an educated "new woman" the way I see it. Why ruin your own innocence out of spite-- sadly, your infidelity seem to have never been YOUR choice. Anyways, that's all in the past now but you have the upper hand now-- file for divorce already. I don't think you have any childen do you? In any case you don't want to raise them in such a toxic enviroment.
life, as all know is not about fairness .... too many unfairnesses happen. some we take, to others we retaliate.
letting things slide, or "paying back" never is a solution.
one things is for sure, in nature, the male is polygamous, and the female (mostly) monogamous.
so what next? separation; fighting and making life more bad; ostrich syndrome; or just hope it will pass, like before.
NO, you have to make a decision, the sooner the better. but most importantly know where you stand in this all - did something you do start it in the first place?
and i know what you are facing, have been through this actually. so you have to hang in there, not loose your sanity !
"one things is for sure, in nature, the male is polygamous, and the female (mostly) monogamous."
How u reached this conclusion uncle tanga?
@ Aasim said...
How u reached this conclusion uncle tanga?
aasim ... please have the courtesy to use the right name of the person you address!
just look around you - examples abound all over! no rocket science that!
Tango48, that's because in the patriarchal world that has developed over centuries, men have the power. Different societies give different accounts like in Eskimo societies men gave their wives to other men by the wives' consent or she could leave for another man whenever she wanted and infanticide was common. Anyways, the general consent is monogamy nowadays and that is what modern world has moved towards. If a wealthy and powerful man goes to other women it is not simply because of male nature but because he has that money and power and that is not justified!! Basically if women had the money and power and the ability to put the responsiblity of their children in someone else's hands or to get abortion, they might just be as promiscuous. However, that is not what society usually teaches women as acceptable but it is possible.
@ Luscious, all your self-pity is not going to justify your calling the other woman a "slut." Her role is only secondary, while you and your husband have disrespected your marriage vows. If she is also married she is still secondary in disrespecting YOUR marriage. I thought an intelligent woman like yourself would know where to lay the blame i.e., your insolent husband.
@Amna - I do blame him the most. He has always been like this. Like i wrote earlier, i have known about his habits it's only now that when he has come out in the open about it that i have decided to confront him...
well if he doesn't love you, then there is no point in making this work. it is better that you separate yourself from him.
This is aweful.. May your God be with you in these terrible times..
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