I write this to motivate myself, to give things a perspective and to stay in this battle. I guess after the initial shock wears off i would work on my strategy. He has mellowed down from his threats since his disclosure. He knows that his family will give him hell if he goes for the second marriage. I don't intend to seek divorce if he doesn't marry that woman but for now i am just being very defiant. I don't want to drag myself into court rooms. He can be a very mean person and with his powerful resources can make things very difficult for me. I know that he will not want the divorce as it will hurt his ambitions in society. I am hurt and i want to give it back to him, but i cannot at least not now. I feel helpless and that makes me feel incomplete.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Surviving
The storm when it comes is strong and fierce but nothing in this world is more powerful than the human will power. History is witness to the fact that humans are by default the most adaptable creatures - they have survived where others have fallen by the side. Today, we carry the same genes or survival.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
DOnot be stupid wear off this storm.It is not that bad with ur stature in the society it is very normal just that u r on the reciving end.He wonot marry her and for once can u tell why did u stick to his person when u found him to be characterless? U silence promted him to extend his ventures outside the wedlock.If u feel u have run out of time just let the smoke settle b4 u make things worse for urself. Your inlaw such idoits do u have any shame at all ?
well u r not incomplete...
the feelin will pass and hopefully u will find a solution or a way out
it is a bad pickle ot b in but you do hav your friends!
@A.S - Thank you for your kind words.
@H2o - Ur comment is the classic 'blame the victim' run of the mill stuff..I don't understand what u meant by 'u have any shame at all?"
I meant to say ur inlaws have any shame left in them to tolerate such a freak show from ur husband?
Do they have any influence on ur husband? u never told how many kids do u have ?
This is a baaad situation
but this is not a war, this is a contract, just terminate the contract if it doesnt suit you but please dont start a war, if u terminate contract u can save your baggage, if u enter into a war it will kill u eventually, wearing away is still better than burning away, be mature, measure the pros and cons and if convinced then walk away from the bastard, it will be his worst punishment
you say: "I am hurt and i want to give it back to him, but i cannot at least not now. I feel helpless and that makes me feel incomplete."
i feel you are contemplating defeat! justice delayed is justice denied - in this case to yourself!
men (as one i know) depend on this moment of weakness of their women to get away with a million wrongs ... and eventually two wrongs become a right, because the woman did not call a spade a spade.
the least you can do is to let everyone know you will agree not to did agree but just because of not wanting to rock the boat - NOT because you agree to what they say, do or believe is right!
@ Aasim-- so a woman can't handle a divorce? War will kill you eventually? Such comforting words!! Do you realize how much more common divorce is getting? Woman are strong and they should stand up to show what they got!
@ Luscious-- Tango48's comment reminds me, "Two wrongs DON'T make one right!"
But if you don't believe in such high-mindedness and would rather stick around and have the easy way and avoid the courts (and probably not leave the comforts of your husband's home and other riches as the land in Lahore indicates) then by all means do what you think is necessary. But consider that pragmatism, not right and just. I am sorry if I'm being too in-your-face but I hardly even know if you are a real person with these problems or a just a constructed, "visually stimulated" Pakistani housewife of a zageerdar-politician type husband.
@Amna
You got me all wrong, i was saying that rather than indulging into an open war, which eventually kills, its rather better to get a divorce and salvage the emotional damage which burns ones heart and soul
@Amna says - I hardly even know if you are a real person with these problems or a just a constructed, "visually stimulated" Pakistani housewife of a zageerdar-politician type husband.
interesting thought!
but also what she say's about your wanting to keep the status quo makes for serious thought.
change hurts, but not more than repeating the same mistake.
imagine a short time in the future - the gent will go out again, confident that you will NOT do anything still again .... how long will you be able to live like this.
and then will you go out and repeat your indiscretion, in the fallacy that you are getting even.
Luscious - your thoughts?
@Everyone - I am a little dazed here. I am clearly missing clarity in my thoughts. I am following my instincts here. I have posted what I have thought out to be my next move or rather - no move..
Don't count too much on human adaptability.. we haven't lived as long as many other species have lived!!
As for your personal struggles.. all the best!!
Post a Comment