Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Miserable home visit

Meri maan bechaari itni badbakht kiyoun hai..
Some people are born unlucky i guess..
I only exacerbate her woes with my stupid remarks..
I feel sad..I went home for lunch and got into a minor argument with mom when she was nagging me about her application disposal and i was just getting irritated...Even after all these years and all of us getting married ,somethings just remain the same..I did not say anything nasty to her, just that i don't feel like coming home and i guess she felt very bad about that and now i feel pretty bad as well but than my years with my parents were just like that..

Honestly, i don't feel like going home at times to visit parents..I feel like running away from all that baggage and misery which has been compounded year after year on us by mom and dad..They were a complete failure with each other and somehow i still bear these childhood scars..

Honestly, i think i just need a break from them..I just feel depressed and powerless..
The way we hurt each other is astounding, yet sometimes i feel so frustrated in her presence..
I tolerate such nuisance from Husband yet when it comes to Mom i seem to have little patience..
Maybe i don't know how to take care of mom who depends on me yet I irk from the responsibility and it actually scares me..
Anyways, i feel really sad, guilty and depressed..Mom really knows how to make you feel guilty, but i guess after all these years being married to such a  selfish person as my dad can take its toll..

People you love the most end up hurting you the most. I guess that is basic truth of human relationships..


8 comments:

Unknown said...

so when are you goin to share your fantasies with us?

Scheherazade said...

@Imran - Everything in due time..

madraskaari said...

can understand what you are saying.

Unknown said...

Imran and the rest of the ilk;

You don't seem to get it. I don't think that the point of this blog is to titillate you. Its a way for the author to express herself and give us a window into life in Peshawar. If titillation is what you are looking for, rent a porno.

Scheherazade said...

@karan -
Thank you for making things clear.

Delving said...

Yes, people you love the most can hurt you the most, but they can also comfort you the most and give you the most valuable support because you love them and so you cherish what they say even more. Both the good and the bad. And if you truly love them, you learn to forgive the bad. That is, if they love you and ask for your forgiveness.

Delving said...

oh, and very provoking and interesting stories of real life. Great job! keep it up =)

Scheherazade said...

@Delving - Thanks for visiting.